Fear

Yesterday evening I started to go through my old magazines in hopes of finding some images I can use for an archive of reference materials for future drawing projects. This is part of my "homework" for the home course in graphic design that I had signed up for last year. I must admit that I have hardly done anything for that course and I have been wondering if I should sign out again and if this is really something I want to do. I always had an excuse for not doing anything for this course. First, it was my upcoming law exams, then the exhaustion from the exams and my unwillingness to put new pressures on myself, then the lack of energy I was feeling in the first months of my pregnancy... But now? I think what´s keeping me from really digging into this is plain old fear. The old fear of not being able to live up to my own standards. Perfectionism. The fear of not being able to do this right. Of course this is stupid. When I started this course, my goal was to simply learn how to draw better, try out new techniques (that I might never have tried out on my own), get to know the basics of composition etc.... I just wanted to build new skills! So what am I afraid of? What do I have to prove? So what, if I will not be very good at this? And how will I ever find out if I don´t try?