Journal of a Mouse

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

One day to go...

I´m still very, very nervous. Maybe, I´m still trying to stuff too much studying into my days... Yesterday, for most of the day, I felt way better though. Despite the fact that I didn´t get much sleep. The last two nights I woke up very, very early and lay awake for what seemed like hours, having thoughts racing through my brain of what the examiners might ask me and I wouldn´t know... I tried to calm myself down and it worked better yesterday than it did today.
After reading the records of past examinations by my examiners, I fear one of the examiners most. He is totally unpredictable and sometimes asks only things that are actually not part of what the examination regulations intend him to ask, and are usually questions only in the first state exams. Sometimes he asked only questions on the history of constitutional law, which I did know when I started studying at university, but have long forgotten. Because I did not know the names of my examiners until about a week ago, I had no chance of preparing for a case like this. There is no way I could review this stuff. From what I heard he is an old man who likes to brag with his own vast knowledge... He is from a generation of judges who studied in times where they had to learn about half of what we have to do today and had a lot more time for it. I wonder if he really was as good in his times as he likes to project these days. Today, you can only become a judge in Germany if you have outstanding grades. In his time, everyone who passed the second state exam could become a judge... Of course these thoughts won´t really help me. Except maybe with not letting him intimidate me too much.
Oh, well. I wish it was already over.


At 2:03 PM, Blogger Roz said...

Of course you're nervous. It would be unusual if you weren't. But try no to cross over into panic mode if at all possible. Stay focused, do the best you can with the study time you have left and just get through it. You can do it!

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Bea said...

Thanks for your good advise, Roz! I´ll try to just focus on getting through it. I didn´t do so much today, because I felt panicy again this morning. So I only did a little. Then I hung on the phone for a while and realized that I felt a lot better and more confident when I did not think about tomorrow so much. So I decided that enough is enough. If it doesn´t work out, so be it. I´m going to the park now, for an evening walk with my boyfriend. I really need to relax a little.

At 1:43 AM, Anonymous tine said...

Ich werde im Schlaf heut nacht ganz doll die Daeumlis und Zehen fuer Dich druecken!!! :-)

At 12:22 AM, Blogger Bea said...

Das war so lieb von Dir, Tine! Ich hoffe, sie sind jetzt wieder entknoted, hi, hi! Danke!


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