Journal of a Mouse

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Rainy Day Blues...

It was nearing noon and Bea the Mouse was sitting alone in her kitchen, reading a book on German family law that was slipping through her brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind... I have adapted this from the first sentence of the new Harry Potter book ("It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind."), as it seems to fit my situation perfectly.
I´m really trying. But I only have images in my mind of pictures I want to draw, things I want to knit and sew... I feel really guilty because of that. Why can´t I just discipline myself! It´s only a few weeks. Then the struggle will all be over and I´m finally free to take up my graphic design course again, and be who I truly am. My creative part is - as I have mentioned before - really jealous. It gives me a really hard time as soon as I honestly work at preparing for my exams. Since I developped a burnout syndrome three years back, I suffer from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). But it got a lot better these past month, as I did more and more of what I really wanted to do and not push myself too much into doing seemingly "reasonable" things, like studying etc. And now its back... So even my body is telling me what to do. It´s so smart! Smarter than I am.

8 Comments:

At 1:48 PM, Blogger monicalee said...

I suffered from IBS too, it is really under control now. It really forced me to slow down! love your drawings and your blog!

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger Bea said...

Thanks a lot! :-)) Yeah, this IBS thing really is a bother. I found out last year that I´m intolerant to lactose and that I´m sensitive to wheat products and sorbit (I don´t know the English word for it - it´s something they put in some foods to keep the moisture in). Trying to avoid all of that has helped a lot already. But it also seems to be a stress-related problem with me.

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger isay said...

love that picture! on a rainy day like today, it's nice to hear the sound of it or you can listen to the radio or music, drink some juice or tea or coffee or warm soup(whatever is best for you) and then go back to reading again.

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Bea said...

Thank you! You´re so sweet!

 
At 6:16 PM, Anonymous Paige Keiser said...

Hi Bea, thanks so much for your input on my two drawings! I think i am leaning more towards the softer style because I enjoy the process more.

wow, reading your post brought me back to college - this is exactly how i felt, along with the tummy troubles too. i couldn't wait to get out of school so i could persue my dreams.

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous Hanna said...

Hey, beautiful picture. It was raining in Sweden today too, and I feel with you for having to do stuff when the creativity bubbles inside. I'm like that too. This coming week I HAVE to write an essay and not art journal as much - or knitt! Very difficult. But we have to try!

 
At 4:19 AM, Blogger Patrick said...

Hi Bea. I can relate to your predicament. I'm a teacher, and I'm struggling to keep my mind on my studious work. Every time I try to read and plan my lessons, I find I'd rather be singing and dancing - or working on my photography or my graphic arts projects.

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Bea said...

Thanks for your sweet comments! Makes it all a little bit easier to bear - eh - mouse!

 

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