Rainy Day Blues...

It was nearing noon and Bea the Mouse was sitting alone in her kitchen, reading a book on German family law that was slipping through her brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind... I have adapted this from the first sentence of the new Harry Potter book ("It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind."), as it seems to fit my situation perfectly.
I´m really trying. But I only have images in my mind of pictures I want to draw, things I want to knit and sew... I feel really guilty because of that. Why can´t I just discipline myself! It´s only a few weeks. Then the struggle will all be over and I´m finally free to take up my graphic design course again, and be who I truly am. My creative part is - as I have mentioned before - really jealous. It gives me a really hard time as soon as I honestly work at preparing for my exams. Since I developped a burnout syndrome three years back, I suffer from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). But it got a lot better these past month, as I did more and more of what I really wanted to do and not push myself too much into doing seemingly "reasonable" things, like studying etc. And now its back... So even my body is telling me what to do. It´s so smart! Smarter than I am.